I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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