And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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