Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I look better un-naked...
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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