just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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