she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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