If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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