Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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