Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
