After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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