we're blogging at a bar
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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