who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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