I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
