i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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