Sponge bath it is.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
