I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize