South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Couch. On fire.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
