OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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