found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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