just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
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so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
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The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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