So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
