I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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