I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
