ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
