dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize