I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
