Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
