she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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