I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
