I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
