Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
