oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
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Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
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do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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