he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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