so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
