Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
