Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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