Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
We left the knife in your bed.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Randomize
