Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize