I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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