Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize