don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
