hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
She tied me up with her honor cords...
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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