Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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