I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
