I think my vagina is haunted
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
God, I missed his penis.
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