dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
