How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
