Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
