he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
not ubering you a puppy
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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