Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
