I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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