Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
