I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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