I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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