Quick, to the slutcave!
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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