Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
