And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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