Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
