You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
