OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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